With the recent 50th anniversary of James Bond spy 007 films, I’ve reflected on what they’ve taught me. Bond films have it all: the cool cars, the gadgets, the ingenious villain, the uncompromising style, and of course the Bond Girls. Add these all up, and here are the lessons I’ve learned:
1.Shaken, Not Stirred!
If there’s anything that James Bond has taught me, it’s that every
classic cocktail tastes better when shaken, never stirred! This includes a vesper or vodka martini,
scotch and soda, vodka and tonic, Americano, Old-Fashioned, Stinger and
Mojito! So please make mine shaken, not
stirred!
2. Spot the Villain!
Contrary to my politically correct upbringing, James Bond films have
taught me that you can always spot the bad guys just by looking at physical
attributes. To uncover a villain, look
for bleeding tear ducts and heterochromia iridis—eyes of two different colours
(Casino Royale’s Le Chiffre), a face full of embedded diamonds (Die Another Day’s
Zao), or a bald guy in an oversized leather, chair stroking a fluffy white cat
(You Only Live Twice’s Ernst Stavro Blofeld)!
3. Well-Dressed!
James Bond has taught me to always be well-dressed, whether driving a
motorcycle across rooftops, clocking a bad guy on top of a moving train, or
plunging to my near death in a river below (Skyfall). Of course, a dinner jacket and bowtie are à propos for gentlemen at
the casino, or as a prelude to a love scene!
4. Cool Cars! I owe
my cool car vocabulary to every James Bond film I ever saw: Alfa Romeo GTV6
(Octopussy), Aston Martin DB5 (Goldfinger), Bentley Mark IV (From Russia with
Love), BMW Z8 (The World is Not Enough), Jaguar XJ (Skyfall) and Lotus Formula
3 (Casino Royale). Of course my own car
does not turn invisible or shoot rockets like Bond’s Aston Martin V12 Vanquish
(Die Another Day), but hey, I drive a minivan!
5. Gadgets! Without
James Bond films, I would’ve never heard about a garrotte wristwatch that can
strangle villains (From Russia With Love), or a Walther PPK 7.65mm gun for personal
protection (Dr. No). Needless to say,
I’d rather take an AMC Matador flying car any day, than wait an hour to go
through airport security (The Man With the Golden Gun)! Okay, I could’ve used a pair of Jaws’ metal
teeth to bite through our overcooked Thanksgiving Turkey (The Spy Who Loved Me)!
6. Bond Girls Are Expendable! I’ve learned that bodacious Bond Girls have
the survival rate of say, a mouse inside a boa constrictor’s mouth! And if you sleep with James Bond, or cross
one of his enemies, you’re going to end up dead and naked, sprayed from
head-to-toe in gold paint (Goldfinger); get shot in the head before your
honeymoon (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service); be dead on a bed covered in an oil
slick (Skyfall); or be found dead and strangled in a beach hammock (Skyfall). For Bond Girls, the prospects are kind of slim!
7. Sometimes Hydrogen Cyanide Doesn’t Work! I recently learned from Skyfall, that if MI6
sends you on a dangerous mission and it gets ugly, you’d better be certain that
your secret tooth filled with Hydrogen Cyanide works. Otherwise, you might end up like Raoul Silva
(Javier Bardem), and have a face that looks like it’s melting.
8. Never Use a Flashlight at Night (when pursued by bad guys)! Okay, here’s another lesson taken from the
recent Bond film, Skyfall. What child
hasn’t been busted by a parent, when the telling glare of the flashlight gives
away nighttime reading? Same concept
here when villains with crazy weapons are pursuing you: remember to turn the
flashlight OFF, even if you’re in a Scottish moor at night! Duh!
9. MI6! Okay, the James Bond series have taught me all about
MI6, Britain’s top secret spy agency. Which
brought me to do a search of MI6, and by the way they’re
hiring! If you’re a British citizen,
you actually can get a gig as an “Intelligence Officer”, and it pays about
$100,000 per year! Try
this quiz to see if you’re well-suited to be a MI6 spy!
10. Laugh in the Face of Adversity! One of the greatest things I’ve learned from
James Bond films is to laugh in the face of adversity! In Casino Royale (2006 version), James Bond
is tortured by Le Chiffre. He has been
stripped naked and is strapped to a seatless chair. Le Chiffre is using a thick rope to whip Bond’s,
uh…boys. Regardless of the discomfort
that ensues, Bond manages to make light and instruct the villain how to whip
him properly! Laughter is the best
medicine!
Do you have a favourite James Bond film? What's the most memorable scene?
Never wear light up shoes at night when chased by bad guys either, lol. I love James Bond.
ReplyDeleteI sadly have to say that I do not remember watching any James Bond movies, however my mother always told me to make sure I always wear underwear that matches my dresses (when I wear them). I guess that would go under the well dressed just in case I am riding that motorcycle across the rooftops and my dress should fly up. Maybe it is time I start catching up on some James Bond flicks.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I love your humour Jenna. Actually I do not have a favourite James Bond film. I have never seen one. GASP! Much to my husband's dismay!
ReplyDeleteIt's all about the cool cars!!!
ReplyDeletemy hubby loves bond...i am not a huge fan, but can sit through them if needed....I do like to see the cars and gadgets though
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen a lot of James Bond movies (please don't hate me) but I do love his cars!
ReplyDeleteLike Wendy, I haven't seen a lot of James Bonds movies but Goldfinger would have to be my favorite! I have a thing for Connery. LOL
ReplyDeleteoh boy, just picking 1 is hard!
ReplyDeleteLove Bond films! Can't wait until my boys are old enough to enjoy them!
ReplyDeleteYou know...it really does suck to be bond girl! LOVE Goldfinger.
ReplyDeleteI can't pick a favorite movie but I *can* pick a favorite Bond - Sean Connery!
ReplyDeleteFun list. :)
I can't pick a favorite movie but I *can* pick a favorite Bond - Sean Connery!
ReplyDeleteFun list. :)
Yes being a Bond girl really does come with a lot of risks!
ReplyDeleteha ha great post, gave me a few giggles!
ReplyDeleteI don't really get into them, but my husband loves Bond! and my boys will go around the sound saying Bond! James Bond! lol
ReplyDeleteI love the Bond movies, but I unfortunately haven't seen them all (they are on my list of movies to watch). I gotta say though that I like all of his cars and gadgets, they are pretty cool, and a lot of them I do wish were real haha
ReplyDeleteNot a big fan of bond movies, Partly due to my dad, when he texts me He talks in Bond code!
ReplyDelete